The curious incident of the Mouse in the shoe

One of the disadvantages of wearing shoes for more than half the hours of the day is the fact that you have to pinch your nose when you take them off. Even a single stench carrying molecule finding its way to the sensors in your nose could wreak havoc on your olfactory system.

As such, much to the annoyance of my wingmates, I leave my shoes just outside the door in the corridor every night. To pick up the shoes every morning before I step out is among the most mundane and mechanical things I do during the day.

But today was different.

I was already late and in a hurry to reach daftar at lunch time. I don't like to miss free meals you see. So I pick up my shoes, bring them inside, wear socks and put my right foot inside the shoe. The darn foot doesn't go in fully.

"Damn it, I thought it stopped growing a long time back".

I push again and suddenly sense something inside.

"What is that? Lizard! Yuck! Take it off! YUUUCCCCKKKKKK!"

Shoe is lying on the ground. But nothing comes out.

"Ah, it's nothing. Probably just some little insect. Nothing worth all the hysterics. "

So, I invert the shoe, and lo! Guess who's peeping out? A mouse!

"Damn it! What the f***?! A f***ing mouse? Baahar nikal ********"

It comes out and makes a dash for the nearest corner instead of making a quick, peaceful exit through the door which is wide open. In a most innovative display of warfare tactic, it tries to shock the hell out of me by choosing the route between my legs.

And well, it succeeds. I jump up and down. Left foot in the air, now the right one. He dashes to the corner, I run out of the room.

But in a moment, I am back to my usual, brave self.

"I need a suitable weapon. A broom maybe." No broom in sight. Yes, that bottle of Thums Up lying under the chair could be of use. I tiptoe into the room so that I can catch it unawares and pick up the bottle. By now, it has taken a position of strategic advantage under the bed and on top of the bucket.

With one stroke of the bottle, I bring the bucket down. A good beginning, but it manages to hang on. Another blow and the enemy's on the run! It runs straight into the gap in the door.

I run after it with a war cry and strike the bottle on the ground right next to its tail. I had read somewhere that their tails can sense vibrations. I guess it was true. It immediately wriggles out of the room and makes a run for its life, towards the end of the corridor. The battle has been won.

I put on my shoes and walk out with a victorious smile.

Jeans

I'm waiting for a code to compile. And it takes long enough for me to seriously start considering options to pass time. Blogging seems to be quite a good option.

So, I think about what to write. I swing my chair left and right, look at the pen, the cellphone (which is still quite new, and hence I actually notice it). I pocket my hands. Pockets of a jeans. Ah, that could be a topic!

me1:What? You'll write a post about jeans?

me2:Yes, why not. Seems like a pretty good idea.

me1:You mean this jeans you're wearing, or in general?

me2:No, in general.

me1:Write what about jeans? About how you totally enjoy wearing them, and all that crap?

me2:Yes. Why, only today I was talking to Billu about how I can't remember the last time I wasn't wearing one.

me1:Really? You don't?

me2:No. Not that I've been wearing them ever since I appeared on the face of the earth, but it certainly has been a long time.

In fact, I even remember the first time I bought one. I think it was my 8th birthday. I was super excited about the 5th pocket, the little one meant for keys (or is it for a condom?). I spent hours thinking what would be the ideal thing to carry in the pocket.

me1:You thought about carrying a condom in it at the age of 8?

me2:No, of course not. WTF?

me1:I don't really see a point for favouring jeans over normal pants...

me2:Well, the best reason I can think of is that you can wear them for as long as you want without washing, because it should be dirty.

me1:What's the longest you've gone wearing an unwashed jeans?

me2:Let's see... I think I went for about 20 days once, around the end sems in the 2nd semester. I was too busy studying, you see.

me1:Yeah, right. But 20 days? Man, yuck!

me2:That's nothing. Read about Hell's Angels and their Old Levi's.
You can basically do anything to your pair and it'll become the latest rage.

me1:I think that explains the bullet-hole trend and the auctions where old pairs are sold for as high as $100,000.

me2:Yes, but some of the recent trends are total bakwaas. I completely detest anything other than the straight fit. Those boot-cuts, low-rise, skeleton, faded are bullshit.

me1:See, you're just fashion unconscious and uncool. And you want to write about jeans.

me2:Okay, I'm uncool. But those artificially faded and skeleton jeans completely defeat the purpose. you're supposed to use a pair till it fades and then take pride in that fact that you faded them. And don't even get me started about the weird fits that are popular these days. Absolutely thoo!

me1:How can you say that? Don't you remember the wise words of the salesman in the shop who was trying to push concepts of latest trends in jeanswear down your throat? And about how your choice is totally uncle-like?

me2:Bollocks, what does he know about jeans?

me1:And you do?

me2:Yes.

me1:Yeah, right. That's why I tell you, don't write about this topic.

me2:Hmm, but maybe I can write about this little argument.